


Leave me be

by foreverdrivinginpuddles123



Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 22:33:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverdrivinginpuddles123/pseuds/foreverdrivinginpuddles123
Summary: Imagine being a part of the avengers when Loki is taken in, banished to Earth as punishment for his wrongdoings. He has no interest in speaking with anyone, yet you seem to catch his eye as you are very quiet and reserved. He makes a habit of small greetings every day, such as good morning of good afternoon. Little does he know, it makes you smile. You start to avoid him, making a point of brushing him off whenever he approaches for his usual greeting. It isn't until he finds you, blade pressed deeply into your wrist that he realizes why you had been avoiding him. You planned your suicide before Loki arrived…





	Leave me be

**Author's Note:**

> 9-2-18= OMG I ONLY NOW NOTICE THAT I USED THE SAME NAME AS THE GIRL FROM 13 REASONS WHY IN MY SUICIDE FIC! THIS WAS NOT ON PURPOSE AND IT HAS NO CONNECTION TO IT WHAT SO-EVER!!!! I just used a name generator. If I have the time, I'll update it to Y/N ASAP!  
> 24-2-18= Fic will be updated with Y/N tomorrow  
> 25-2-18= fic is updated :D I hope I didn't miss anything ;)

TITLE: Leave me be

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One shot

AUTHOR: foreverdrivinginpuddles123 / lokistories123

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being a part of the avengers when Loki is taken in, banished to Earth as punishment for his wrongdoings. He has no interest in speaking with anyone, yet you seem to catch his eye as you are very quiet and reserved. He makes a habit of small greetings every day, such as good morning of good afternoon. Little does he know, it makes you smile. You start to avoid him, making a point of brushing him off whenever he approaches for his usual greeting. It isn't until he finds you, blade pressed deeply into your wrist that he realizes why you had been avoiding him. You planned your suicide before Loki arrived…

RATING: M / NSFW because of the suicide attempt.

 

It was another regular day. You haven't been feeling well, but you wouldn't tell anybody about it. Your thoughts were a hurricane.  
You had become a part of the Avengers because they saw you fighting of 4 strong men trying to steal your stuff. Natasha was impressed and wanted you to join SHIELD first. After Tony saw how skilled you were with electronics as well, you were made an avenger.  
You had been an Avenger for 2 years when Loki came and attacked New York. It was a disaster, and you weren't allowed to fight in the battle. When the chitauri entered Stark tower and killed over 100 agents, you were the one they blamed. Luckily Tony and Natasha had your back, but it was never the same. Everyone hated you and no-one wanted to work with or talk to you. Since you've had a rough childhood and were always bullied and even physically hurt, you didn't bare it anymore. You wanted to make an end to everything, but you just didn't know when. Or how….

You had been thinking of these ways to make an end to it all when you heard some level 5 guards say that they finally caught Loki. Loki had been dealt with, you thought to yourself. He had gotten his punishment as Thor mentioned to you quite a few times. He was locked up in Asgard. But apparently the guards weren't wrong. As you were working in the lab helping Tony you could see 6 guards walking him to the prison cells.

"There he goes, the little princess. I bet he killed someone on Asgard and that he is now banished back to earth. Karma really is a bitch."  
"Hmm?" You were quite mesmerized by the god. How can someone like him, that has everything still not be happy? You've been having a rough time since you were 12 and you were almost homeless if the Avengers wouldn't have taken you in. You were going to take your life for god's sake. That's how miserable you've been feeling. But this man had it all, but it was still not good enough.  
"Are you there Y/N? He may look pretty, but he is the ugliest asshole you'll meet."  
"No. I'm sorry Tony, I wasn't distracted by him. I was lost again in my own thoughts."  
"You'll figure it out. Now come, we need to get this new prototype workin." Tony didn't notice you've been battling with your own feeling from the moment he met you. He has always seen you like this, so there was nothing really odd for him to notice. 

When you finally finished and had a working prototype, you and Tony went to the living room and straight to the kitchen to get some food. But Fury was standing in the middle of the living room with Loki next to him.  
"Alright everyone. As you have all read in the rapports, Loki was brainwashed and manipulated to take over earth." Fury said the words, but he didn't believe them.  
"He went back to his own planet but fucked up there AGAIN. He pissed of his dad, and since that is the king of our world as well, we HAD to take him in."  
"So is he our punishment, or are we his?" Natasha asked. She didn't look very happy with what she just heard.  
"It is obviously a punishment for both parties agent Romanoff. But we are to follow this old man's rules or the whole planet will be destroyed."  
"Damn that's one old and powerful men." You whispered to Tony and you both started giggling.  
"Everything okay over there agent Y/N?"  
"Yes sir. Sorry sir." You blushed, and you felt attacked again. It happened twice today already that you were made fun of. But the 3rd is the champ.  
"As I was trying to say…. He's banished to earth for both his doings here and in Asgird. Is that how you say it? Anyway, he'll be living here. He's free to do as he pleases, but if he fucks up… He gets thrown in one pretty pink prison cell."

Great you thought to yourself. Another person here to mock me.  
Loki never spoke to anyone really, you noticed. He wouldn't even say good morning or anything. And the Avengers wouldn't do it either. They would of course scold the hell out of him and throw him around from time to time hoping he would indeed "Fuck up" and get placed elsewhere. But Loki wouldn't bother.

Loki was on the other hand rather interested in you. He would find you sitting at the end of the couch reading something and not paying notice to anything the Avengers were doing to him. You wouldn't interact because they never asked you anything and no-one really wanted to bond with you. He noticed that the Avengers wouldn't greet you at all. Only Tony and Natasha would from time to time. He asked Tony why no-one every spoke to you and Tony told him the story of you being blamed for the deaths of more than a hundred agents in the battle of New York. Loki was rather angry with the Avengers for being angry at a woman who was always so quiet and reserved. He did saw the likeness of the two of you. You were both being blamed for things you had no power of. Like Loki wanted to destroy earth. Heavens no. He just wanted to be the god of Mischief and perhaps the King of Asgard. You were both misunderstood. You were kind to Loki. You saved him a spot at the dining table and you would train together from time to time.

Because of his interest in you, he did greet you.  
"Good morning Y/N." Loki would greet you every morning.  
"Good morning Loki." He was the only one that would great you and be honest about it. Tony and Natasha said it out of pity. You could tell Loki meant it. It made you smile from the inside.  
"Good evening Y/N. How was training?" He was showing more interest as the weeks flew by. You yourself were feeling better by his attention. But you needed to stick to your plan that you've been having for ages now.  
"Hi, not so well to be honest, but I'll survive. If you'll excuse me." You walked away from him and went to your room. You had to write your thoughts down or you would explode. You were crying all night and fell asleep around 6AM.

The next day you still hadn't shown up, and it was lunch time by now.  
"Loki, can you please get Y/N over here, she's late."  
"Why don't you get her yourself STEVE." For a man that was trying to save so many people, he wouldn't mind dumping one of his team mates? Loki went up to your room and when he wanted to knock on the door, you opened it.  
"Oh hi. I'll be up in a sec. Can you please tell them that?" You sounded scared and Loki heard it.  
"Everything okay Y/N?"  
"Uhm yeah, I just overslept. I was really tired and all." There was something odd going on, Loki thought to himself.

You and Loki walked upstairs to the living room where you saw Steve eyeing daggers at you.  
"How nice of you to come to the required team counsels Y/N…." He said it in a sarcastic way knowing it would hurt you. You really needed it to end.  
The counsel lasted 3 hours and then everyone went on with their usual tasks.  
You could see Loki approaching you, but you quickly brushed him of and went to your room.  
Over the few weeks you tried your hardest to avoid him, hoping he would leave you be. He wasn't following you like a lost puppy, he was trying to make a conversation and share his worries. And his worries about you. You didn't want him to talk you out of your plans even though he didn't know them. But Loki was a god and could feel someone's emotions even if he didn't want it. He could sense you were sad, empty and depressed. He wanted to tell you it'll be better someday, but he couldn't find you. You were avoiding him. 

You had a plan. You had a bathtub in your bathroom and you stole some of Tony's shaving blades. You let the water run and you undressed and got into the bathtub. If they were going to find you, they would at least have to look at your ugly body one last time. That did put a smile on your face.  
All the pain from these past 10 years came rushing into your head. You could see all the angry faces screaming at you. You could see your peers hitting you, scolding at you.  
"I've had enough pain for a million lifetimes." You told yourself and you took one blade in your hand and cut your wrist open. It hurt at first, but you could feel the pain rushing out of your body. You quickly cut the other wrist as well and you closed your eyes.  
In 22 years, you finally had peace. You were ready. You could feel yourself slipping away.

Loki got angry with the thought of you avoiding HIM of all people. He was the only person that had shown some interest in those few months he was here. He was going to confront you. He slammed open your door. He knew you wouldn't fight him.  
"Y/N! Where are you! We need to talk. You're ignoring me, and I'll have no more of it!"  
Loki could see water flowing from underneath the door. He only got worried when the water had a rosy color. Loki rushed to the door.  
He tried opening the bathroom door, but it was locked. He kicked it open and the door went to a hundred pieces.  
There you were, flowing in the water. Loki could see your wrist were cut open.  
"Damn you fool!" Loki started crying. He quickly got you out of the bathtub. He himself fell down because everything was wet. He pushed one of the buttons that would ring up the closest Avenger nearby. He got Clint….  
"Agent Barton you need to come to Y/N's room right now! She's… She's very hurt!"  
"Well? Let her be Loki, she's not my concern." Clint hung op. He had been ordered around enough by Loki.

Loki was furious. If it wasn't for you laying in his arms he would've killed Barton right there.  
He rang again and got Steve this time. He didn't want to help either.  
"Karma is a bitch. That's what she gets for letting her own people die!"  
Loki couldn't believe his ears. This girl was almost dead, and no-one would care about it. No-one would mourn for her. They would find her weeks later, already rotting, Loki thought to himself.  
Loki tried remembering the spell his mother once used when Thor had almost lost his foot because he kicked a sword. Loki performed the spell and could see the blood flowing back in her veins. He couldn't heal the wound because he had used up all his magic to bring the blood back in her veins. He quickly grabbed the medical kit and wrapped up her wrist as tight as he could. He held you close to him. He didn't care that you were naked, or that he was completely wet. All he cared about now, was saving the life of the girl that had so much in common with him. The only person that had been nice to him in YEARS!

You thought it was all a dream. Loki saving you? He killed thousands of people, why save you? You made the decision to end it. No-one would stop you from doing it. So it was just your unconscious giving one more "fuck you" before it would end. You could hear Loki crying and screaming. That was when you knew it was a dream.

You woke up in a bed. You didn't know there would be life after death. You looked up at your wrists and they were packed up! There were so many band aids, you couldn't even tell where the wounds would be.

"Look who's finally awake." Loki was still wearing the same clothes as when he found you in the bathroom. His shirt was covered in blood. He couldn't get everything back, but it was enough. He looked relieved as he looked angry.  
"Am I dead?"  
"Pfff you wish Y/N. No, you're not. Everybody else deserves to die, you deserve to live the life you want." You burst in tears.  
"Why did you save me Loki?! I made the decision to take my life and end it all! I've had this plan for years now!"  
"You did? So before I even got here, you had the plans to commit suicide?!"  
"YES!" You started sobbing and crying.  
"Why?"  
"I don't owe you an answer Loki!"  
"I saved your life, so you do."  
"I didn't want to be saved. I'll do it again when you're not around!"  
"NO. YOU. WON'T. Now you're going to tell me the reason or I'll get it out of you on my way." Loki looked angry. And you didn't blame him.  
"I've been bullied and hurt for over 10 years now. I was literally cut by my peers, kicked, slapped and so on. When I went to college my parents died and I had nothing anymore. I finished college but couldn't get a job. I was almost homeless until Tony and Nat took me in. Only to be broken apart again when YOU came here with those creepy lobsters. I couldn't hold all 200 or more back and they killed some agents, guards, man, woman and children. It wasn't my fault, but everyone seems to think it is. And I'm starting to believe them as well. I needed all this pain sorrow to end. I can't bear it anymore!"  
You fell down on the ground. You were a crying mess. It felt good to tell someone the whole story from your perspective. But it still hurt.  
"Y/N.. I don't know what to say.. You've been unfairly treated like a monster, while you've done nothing wrong. If people cannot appreciate you for being you, why not leave?"  
Loki didn't understand why she would stay with all these assholes if they treated her like shit.  
"I have nowhere else to go. You may have Asgard, Earth and a million other places to run to, but I don't. If I leave here, I have nothing. No home, no food, no water, no shelter, nothing."  
You could feel a sting in your wrists and the bandages where now red. You fainted.

Loki caught you just in time, he quickly stitched up your wrists. He couldn't do it the first time around, but he now could. He refreshed the bandages and laid you back on bed.  
"Mother, are you there?"  
"Loki, what is wrong?" Loki told the whole story to his mother. He told her he saw no need in the punishment for they were the monsters and not him, he would only get monstrous. His mother agreed and also agreed that he would come back to Asgard. The punishment would be decided later.  
Loki would make you his little project and would make sure you'll never do anything this mad again.

You were half awake, and you could feel Loki grabbing you and taking you outside. The last thing you saw before fainting again, was a bright white light. And you know you were safe and at peace.

*Bright light is the Bifröst you guys!


End file.
